The Empowered Lifestyle

I had a revelation today that actually started to take root last night. See, last night, I was finally able to manage to mesh schedules with a few of my girlfriends and see the SEX AND THE CITY movie. I don’t want to really say anything about the movie in case anyone hasn’t seen it, so, I’ll reserve that blog for another time or, at least until it’s available on DVD. Rest assured though, it will be BIG.

The one thing I can and will say is that all through this HBO series the one and only message that Darren Star has ever tried to convey is the absolute influence, impact and importance of friends. No, not the ones who can get you into the Country Club (recently referred to on a Bravo series as “connectors”) or the ones who will take your kid to lacrosse practice when you have another appointment that precludes you from doing same. No, this Sexy show has always been about friends who are FRIENDS, right down to the core, through the thick and thin of any old thing, or, as I often say, THAT person who will willingly and gladly lay across a train track for you.

I came in last night after seeing the movie and laid awake for a lot of the night thinking about friendship. My own in particular. Do I even have a set of friends like Charlotte and Miranda and Samantha? Does anyone?

I was thinking about how I have had core groups of closerthanthis friends but all at different times of my life. I still maintain just a couple of close relationships with some of my friends from St. Aloysius Grammar School and then there are the girls I couldn’t live without in High School. There hasn’t been any musical written about us, but, believe me, there should be. I am still the closest of friends with a few of them, too.

There are ‘my first job’ friends, and my brother’s old girlfriends who I have stayed in touch with, there are friends I have met when I lived in Miami and ones left over from other locations too. There are old friends and new friends (in that last category comes angel Frankie and Stacy Morrison from Redbook and Gretel Going from Channel V Media who have all entered lately to positively and pro-actively change my very being.)

And, of course, through the last twenty years there is Dorothy, my wonderful, wonderful Dorothy.

And, then, without compare, there is Kathleen. From college roommate to current confidante. Yes, there's also Kathleen.

But I have no core group that has survived the moves and the marriage and the kid and the divorce and the moves…over and over again. There are different friends and there are terrific friends and there are sister friends. And, of course, my own sister who is my best friend. But not one core group that has moved through all the stages and all the ages with a few thousand Cosmos and a few thousand memories thrown in for fond measure.

And maybe that’s what friendship IS truly all about. The ages and the stages and the people who pepper our lives in between.

I was lying in bed and sort of lamenting that last night. Like Carrie, I want those three other friends that have been around and have known ME forever and who will last just as long as that, too. No matter what I do, or they do either, we will always be there for one another. Or, so supposes the perfect friendships courtesy of HBO and Darren Star.

I still couldn’t shake this kind of “where do I belong” malaise when Tammy (now, if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time you know that Tammy is not only my neighbor and good friend but also my indispensable right hand here in my business. Carrie had her St. Louise, I have Terrific Tammy!) showed up, ready to work and overflowing with tears.

The “why” of that is hers to share.

But the “why” of any friendship then became clear to me. It’s not about how long you know someone or what you have been through together, although, I do believe a history helps. It’s just about love.

Like Charlotte and Miranda and Samantha dropping everything to take Carrie to Cabo, I too felt not one iota of anything except compassion and concern and a desire to make Tammy feel better when she came in with her concerns today.

I dropped everything not only because I wanted to but because I KNEW she would do the same for me.

And then I got it. It’s not about who our friends were yesterday or who they might be tomorrow. It’s only about today. And now. And love. Always and forever about love.

The lightbulb went off and I got that this movie, the one about four friends who would lay across the railroad ties for one another, is just that; it’s a movie. What happened here today, in this space, well that was real life. And that was real friendship. And that was real love.

And tonight, while I lay awake thinking about this real and true fact, I will be grateful.

Tomorrow, though, I might just put a healthy green plant into my ‘Family/Friends’ area, you know, just in case those other four ever decide they might need a fifth wheel. Hey, I can roll around town with the best of ‘em!